Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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