Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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