The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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