Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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