I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize