She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Life without a bra equals bliss.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize