Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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