he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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