Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize