Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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