you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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