I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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