I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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