the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize