Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize