She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry about my life...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize