is your mom at the bar?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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