I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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