where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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