Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize