3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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