Swine flu. Run for my life!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize