You can't motorboat a personality
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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