he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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