the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
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he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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