fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize