I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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