so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize