EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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