my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
false alarm, still single
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize