Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize