Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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