I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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