Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's never too late to be topless.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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