I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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