I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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