working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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