the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize