Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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