the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
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his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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