we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
BRING THE BAGELS
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize