yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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