You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize