What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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