i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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