Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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