she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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