You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize