drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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