If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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